Saturday, September 19, 2009

My tables need to go back to kindergarten!

So this last week has been rather quiet, save for a few nice tables. (Really? 1%? Aren't you CHARMING! Oh, asked for my number? Yeah... right.)

But I swear that all of my tables need to go back to kindergarten, where they are obviously slipping on teaching such things as basic manners.

  1. When someone says hello, how are you, you respond in a pleasant "Hello, I'm fine, and you?" Not "WATER! NO LEMON!" in a voice that they can hear in Tahiti.
  2. If I ask you a question, at least listen to it, I am trying to tell you what comes on our salads so you don't shriek when it comes out "Ewww! I DIDN'T WAAAANT CUCUMBER!" (I don't like them either. There's 2 there. Pick them off and shut up.)
  3. Please remember your please and thank yous. I know it's a small thing, but to me, it means a lot.
  4. Wait your turn. If I am with another table it normally means that I'm trying to do something above, such as ask them for any special requests on their salads, gyros, etc. This is -NOT- the time to start yelling and waving, or even worse... snapping at me. I will be around to you if you need something, a polite "oh Miss, excuse me but... (see rule #3)
  5. Ladies first. I am a strong believe that chivalry is dead and gone the way of the dodo. I see it everyday. I -always- address the lady first. I always give the lady her drink first. I always serve the lady first. It's the way that I have been trained. It's in my blood. So when I look at the lady at the table and say "Ma'am, ladies first... what can I get you to eat..." I really hate it when a guy at the table (or her date) interrupts me with a mispronounced "GYROS PLATTER!" I just look at the lady and sigh. -5.5 I also hate it when a man takes the ladies food. I am handing it to her, not to you. Don't grab and don't take what isn't yours.
  6. Push in your chairs. This is my everlasting and constant pet-peeve! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. So far the only ones that actually pushed in their chairs were the children, and the Kindergarten Teacher.
  7. Please do not interrupt someone when they are speaking. Wait your turn.
  8. Don't grab things, don't take what isn't yours. This applies to the fact that at least once a day I will have someone grab something off my tray and cause me to almost overbalance. It's not the kids either. This is the reason I hate to use trays at all!
  9. Share. I mean this as... tip? You know, that line in the space of the credit card? That is how I stay warm, how I feed myself, how I could be clothing children and feeding them (you don't know.) You should leave me something. Hey, if I fucked up, be a man and tell me about it. Just don't silently stew and leave a small amount...
That is some reasons that my customers should head back to grade 0 and start over again.

Oh, but guy that came in loudly talking about sex... that wasn't called for. Your girlfriend was embarrassed, and then you called Gentleman the cook. He's the owner. Don't insult. Also... tip on a take out too asshat.

That also goes for Bomb. The guy that wants me to buy his book. I can't when you leave a slash through that tip line. Spare me an extra dollar for your Gyros to go... come on, I know you have money. You wrote a book and take an hour massage every Friday. I wish I could afford that. Hell, I wish I could afford gas in my car!

That is all for now. A Friday Flooding (not what you think) and a Saturday post coming up tomorrow.


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