To Whom it May Concern (And you know who you are!)
I appreciate that you want to come over and hang out, and believe me, I mean that. I don't have many friends in this area and I enjoy the time I spend with all of them. (I prefer quality of friendships to quantity.) That being said...
*Don't Bullshit us. We know the real reason you two come over to hang out. We have internet here. You don't. You bring your laptops and set up shop and sit for hours upon hours upon hours (their record sits at three days.) Internet access is not free to us, so why should it be free to you?
* Don't Bullshit us. You call right as you are going to work and ask if your boyfriend can come over and 'hang out'. He's 22 years old and he shouldn't need a babysitter. Guilt trips will no longer work. You have stolen too much sleep from me over the last few weeks; which brings me to my next point.
* Respect. I do not live alone. Hell, I don't even live with just me and my boyfriend (as cool as that would be.) I have a first shift job. He has a third shift job, and on our days off we really don't mind if staying up late... but this being here until eight or nine in the morning or even staying up until five is not good for poor little B.P.'s day job.
* Respect. It's a term. So is common sense. Learn it. If someone says "Hey, other people in the house are trying to sleep or study... it means to shut your big mouth. I know I play the same game as your boyfriend, (who is the Loud One) and that it really is a loud game. That being said, I know better than to try to play it at 3:30 in the morning or later. Even with headphones on, it's loud. You scream and rage on top of that.
* Respect. I'd like to apologize to the decent people I live with at this moment. They've put up with you two 'coming over to hang out' for far, far too long.
Seriously, you come over (sometimes without warning me...) and then sit here and use our internet, use our power, use our water, eat our food, drink our sodas and then have the audacity to say that we don't do anything? Get off the laptops. You don't ask if you can do something, you just assume that you can use it. You have strained the relationships with the people that I have to share a house with and I pick them over you guys.
To the Loud One. Do not complain to me about your 18 hour a week job when I'm working at least 40, if not more. Do not complain to me about never having any money either. I will not buy your soda-coffee-cigarettes-food. While I'm on the subject, I think that it's rather low of you to depend upon your girlfriend for everything like you do, but this isn't the time or the place.
So, Girl. Here is the deal. You two can come over. I am setting a curfew. I have other shit I have to do on my few precious days off and babysitting (for no pay no less) is not one of them. If you two do not speak to me within an allotted time frame, you are to leave. If Boyfriend and I are trying to sleep, do not just sit there and continue to play your games. You are not allowed in my house after Midnight on nights that I work the next day, two on days that I don't work. You are not allowed to just drop your boyfriend off without compensation. Loud One... shut up. If you get too loud, I will talk to one of the housemates... you know, one of the TWO that are going to school for computers. We can block your ISP from our router. What would you do over here without internet? You'd probably just go and hang out at your favorite Free Wi-Fi spot.
You two have taken a lot from me, and given me nothing in return. You prey upon my Boyfriend's and I's inablitity to say no to those in need. You are good people at heart, I want to really believe it, but this has got to stop and stops now. No more fourteen hours of leeching off of our internet, no more coming over and not speaking to us for hours on end... no more plopping down in the middle of our bedroom floor to take up space (and hinder the cleaning) I was doing... no more trying to force me to play host when I'm not feeling all too hot.
We know that's you calling. We ignore it on purpose. Calling back three or four times in a row will not make us pick it up either.
Why don't you two stay in your borrowed apartment and pay for internet for once? You sure like to use it.
Love, and yet, no love.
(This has been a rant that has nothing to do with waiting tables at all, and I do hope that you understand that. If you are those two that the letter is directed to... then I'm not sorry. I've had too much shit piled on me lately to care right now. Maybe later.)