Yes, we all have them, here are just a few of mine.
* Do not shake your water glass at me. I can plainly see that you need another refill, and yes, I am getting it for you. We're a small place and we refill the glasses that are on your table... believe it or not, this involves me actually taking your glass!
* I know you ladies need more bread, you told me three times. I'm the only server here, and there's ONE way into and out of the kitchen. You're sitting right next to it. Did you see me go back into the kitchen? No? Okay then.
* Entitlement Bitches. I don't know who you think you are, but this isn't a corporate place. You ask for water with extra lemons and you make your Ghetto-Ass Lemonade, I get to charge you full price. I also get to laugh at your expense when you try to yell at the OWNER (Gentleman) because he's the one that told me to do it!
* Don't hold up the check presenter. I told you three times to go up to the cash register and Gentleman will cash you out. I can't do it. Clicking your tongue at me, holding the check presenter and clearing your throat at me will not make it change the fact that I cannot touch the cash register. It makes you look dumb.
*Push in your chairs. I hate that.
* Why do you Entitlement Bitches (E.B. for future posts) always have to order two drinks? Why order a Diet Pepsi and a water if you aren't going to touch the water at all? It's just more work for me.
* Look, Miss 'Let Me See Your Manager'. This isn't a franchised place, Lady, Gentleman and myself are your staff, and guess what... your whole 'friends with the owner' ploy isn't going to work either, I charge everyone full price, even Cain and Abel, unless otherwise told by Lady or Gentleman.
* It's Greek. If I pronounce something differently than you, perhaps I'm trying to be subtle and tell you the correct way to say something, so that you don't look like a complete fool in front of your date there. Saying it again the same (wrong) way isn't going to change thousands of years of dialect and pronunciation. Say it again wrong, and you'll just look like a fool some more.
* Sir, I appreciate your 20% on 6.90, but realize that we aren't always the busiest of places, and that perhaps you and your lone Gyros and water may very well be my lunch rush... so please, most regulars leave at least 35%. Except the Doctor (later post), he leaves 50%.
* Don't come to a Greekery if you are only going to order the Cheeseburger. Spend your 5.75 at McDonalds... trust me on this one. We aren't known for our Cheeseburgers. We're known for our Gyros.
Shout out to Boyfriend and my buddy EMT!